I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Come see our sink grown plant.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You're like the curious george of whores
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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