i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
