Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize