Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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