I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
