wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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