My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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