OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
pray to the hookup gods
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
