you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize