Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
