Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
