wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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