When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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