so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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