Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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