I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
