Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
