Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
