Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
