Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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