it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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