Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
