So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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