i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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