she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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