you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
