And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
