"it" just moved
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
