There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
