So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize