is your mom at the bar?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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