my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is wine microwaveable?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
