i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to calm my uterus...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
