Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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