At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
