youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
