At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
