what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wear drunk well.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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