hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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