He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
