He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
