Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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