in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize