those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
