I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
