Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
