Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
