Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
