That's when you crack a 10am beer
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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