wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize