just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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