I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
