I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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