you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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