btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't turn off my feet"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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