kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he thought i was a dude.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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