Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
