physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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