Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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