found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
