i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
