Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
