I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
