Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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