i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
