Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
