this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
