Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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