You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
