i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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