Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
