I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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