I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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