so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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