its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
