So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize