She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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