return my video game
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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